"When our relatives are at home, we have to think of all their good points or it would be impossible to endure them."

Dear nobody in particular,

Familes are annoying.

You tell them what they want to hear.
And they get mad that you held something back.

You tell them the truth.
And they get mad because the truth sucks.

Now you see why half the time,
I tell them nothing at all.

But the other half is so boring/pointless.
Getting mad at "boring/pointless" would be stupid
So they put up with it.

As boring as potatoes.
As pointless as impotence.

That works.

/end

"A lot of people like snow. I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water."

Dear nobody in particular,

Whoever invented snow has a sick sense of humor.

So to the inventor of snow:

Get help... You sick fuck.

/end